As I sit in front of my working table on this windy March day, I can’t help but think about all of God’s goodness towards me.
Looking back to the day when I finally let Jesus into my life, It has been the most amazing and rewarding awe inspiring journey of my adult life.
A rollercoaster filled with ups and downs, quiet moments and emotional turmoil. And through each experience, the God who made heaven and earth has been present. Never forsaking me or leaving me alone to walk by myself.
It reminds me of the encounter by the well. That woman of ill reputation that had to go by herself, because of who she was. Jesus didn’t rush to get there. He knew he had to go to Samaria. And at that appointed time, she met with Him, by the well. (John 4:1-42).
Why do I relate to that story? Because at one point I too was a Samaritan woman. Living a life of sin. Not aware that I was in such need of redemption, forgiveness and deliverance.
When I was broken and with nowhere to turn, my expectations of life turned out not to be what I had imagined it to be.
God’s grace covered and cleansed my shame.
He took a worn-out broken vessel and put it in the wheel and began to firmly but lovingly chip away the old crusted mire, rubbing raw the festering wounds until they blead. Then lovingly and gently he bound my wounds.
He took all the nitty gritty ugliness inside of me, a heart that was lonely, ill, angry, full of bitterness and gave me a heart of flesh. I was so lost. My soul in a state of eternal damnation.
I had to die to my old self. Die in order to live in the spirit, die in order to walk in his path. Die to the old me, in order to receive what I desperately needed. And saving and forgiving is what Jesus did.
I was very angry with God. I was very upset that He had let me down, that He was supposed to protect me, that He was supposed to strike down the ones that had caused so much pain in my life. As a result, I was rebellious.
On many occasions I questioned Him. Why God? Why me? What did I do to deserve all of this? Why didn’t you rescue me?
When I finally realised that I needed saving from my sins and from myself, I opened up my heart to receive His gift of salvation.
It was me who needed to take the step of faith out the boat and walk on water in order to reach Him.
It was me who needed to take the step of faith out the boat and walk on water in order to reach Him.
I discovered that even when I was going through the desert, God was watching over me. He was giving me the time I needed to come to the well and enjoy a conversation with Him and drink from the water He was offering. Cleansing water, refreshing water, water that I desperately needed.
He was always waiting for me to turn around and acknowledge Him. To surrender myself to Him. From time to time, we all need to come to the well and find a restful place. I had to do just that. I had to learn to forgive in order to heal, including learning to forgive myself.
There were things that happened which were beyond my reach and comprehension, and a result of going through them I learnt to be stronger.
God was always near, I just didn’t want Him in my life.
I still stumble, more times than I care to count. I have cried until I cannot cry no more. I have felt pure joy, His joy, I have danced, not just any dance but the dance of the Spirit. His Spirit, being poured over me.
I have learned that I am wonderful and fearfully made by an awesome God. That when Jesus die, he died for me, taking the place I deserve. His blood has washed and cleansed my past. No more shame, no more walking with my head hanging down.
I am free from bondage, free from a sinful past. I am free from memories that hurt.
God has a way of showing us how magnificent are His mercies and grace. He works in each of us differently, and although the process isn’t the same, HE puts us on the potter’s wheel, and molds us back to be who He wants us to be. Not just another creation, but His loving creation as new-born children of God.
This is my journey of grace. Grace that was poured on me. Grace that is amazing. Grace that is a gift from a loving, kind, and wonderful Father.
Love and blessings.
Wendy Meares DeSarro
May 28, 2021
Good Morning Luz, Thank you for your inspiring and honest testimony. There are so many ways we can relate to this, and see our Lord working in our own lives! Have a wonderfully Blessed Day! Love and Hugs!
Annie
May 28, 2021
Hi sister love you ❤️🙏